The realm of transcendental sex resides far beyond the mere physical act. It is about tapping into the very essence of our being, an intertwining of souls, and the realisation of a deeper connection. Sex, when approached from a space of consciousness and intention, can become a doorway to unleashing spiritual experiences. As a conscious masculinity coach and student of sacred sexuality for several years I’ll share some of the key insights that I’ve discovered on my path so far.
Understanding Sacred Sexuality
Within the realm of conscious masculinity, it’s essential to understand that every action, every intention, and every touch contains inherent power. Especially when we delve into the intimate world of sexuality, the significance of recognising the sacredness of the act cannot be overstated.
By adopting an attitude of reverence and devotion towards ourselves and our lover, we can immediately transform the environment and state in which we make love.
Origins of Sacred Intimacy
From time immemorial, ancient cultures have venerated the act of sexual union as a divine ritual. Egyptian, Tantric, and Taoist traditions, among others, all hold deep reverence for the transformative power of intimacy. They recognized sex not merely as a procreative function, but as a profound spiritual experience that could bridge the gap between the mortal and the divine.
Masculinity and Sacred Intimacy
In today’s age, it’s easy for men to get lost in the maze of societal expectations, mistaking physical conquest for genuine connection. Conscious masculinity encourages men to peel away these superficial layers and recognise the depth and sanctity of intimate connection.
When men approach sex from a space of reverence, they channel their inherent masculine energy in its most authentic form – one of respect, honour, and deep appreciation. It’s not just about pleasure; it’s about honouring the divine feminine, celebrating the union, and understanding the profound energy exchange that happens during intimacy.
I can certainly attest to the profound impact this knowledge has had upon my lovelife and relationship. In the past I approached sexuality with an instinctual and ‘need driven’ lust for conquest and release that always left me feeling somehow empty and wanting much more.
Once I learned how to relate to lovemaking and my partner in a deeply nuanced and idealistic way, everything transformed into a profoundly fulfilling experience that even paved the way to transcendent and spiritual experiences.
Ritualising the Experience: To truly embrace the sacredness
So, now let’s explore some of the key ingredients needed for you to transform conventional intimacy into a transcendent encounter.
- Setting Intentions: Before entering the intimate space, take a moment with your partner to set a shared intention. This could be about deepening your bond, healing, or simply celebrating each other.
- Creating a Sacred Space: This could be as simple as lighting a candle, playing soft music, or arranging flowers. The idea is to make the environment conducive to reverence and connection.
- Conscious Communication: Honest communication with your partner about your feelings, desires, and vulnerabilities can elevate the experience. When you lay your soul bare, you invite a deeper level of trust and intimacy. Aim to create a safe space that allows you to both become truly authentic.
The Transformative Power
Recognising the sacredness of the act goes beyond just the act itself. It has the power to heal wounds, foster genuine connection, and give individuals a glimpse of transcendental love and union.
In the throes of such profound intimacy, partners often experience heightened states of consciousness, a deeper sense of self, and a unifying bond that transcends the physical plane.
For men, acknowledging the sanctity in intimacy is a journey back to our most authentic selves. It’s a shedding of societal constructs and a deep dive into genuine connection and spiritual growth.
By recognising and honouring the sacredness of sexual union, we not only elevate our own experiences but also pay homage to the age-old wisdom that celebrates the divine union of souls.
Breathing: The Bridge to Connection
On the path of transcendent intimacy, where we strive to align our minds, bodies, and souls with our partner, one element stands as a foundational pillar: our breath. Often overlooked, breathing isn’t just a means of survival; it’s a powerful tool that can bridge the gap between the self and the other, the physical and the spiritual.
The Vitality of Breath
Breathing, in its essence, is life. Every inhalation brings in renewal, while every exhalation releases the old. In the context of intimate relationships, synchronised breathing can serve as a symbolic dance of giving and receiving, mirroring the deep interconnectedness we seek during our most vulnerable moments.
Some of my most powerful and transcendent experiences were triggered through breathing techniques during lovemaking. In fact, on several occasions I was able to experience prolonged states of multi-orgasmic bliss that lasted for 20-30 minutes at a time. I know it sounds crazy, but try to keep an open mind and discover for yourself what is possible.
Synchronised Breathing: A Ritual of Union
When two people engage in synchronised breathing, they’re doing more than just matching respiratory patterns. They’re aligning their energies, rhythms, and emotions. Experiment for yourself and you’ll quickly find that this simple technique creates a very powerful state of connection and energisation between you and your lover. By doing this you can:
Deepen Emotional Intimacy: Breathing together creates an emotional resonance, fostering a profound bond between partners.
Enhance The State Of Presence: The act of conscious breathing brings both partners into the present moment, magnifying their shared experience.
Stimulates Energetic Connection: As both partners breathe in harmony, their energetic fields begin to meld, often leading to shared sensations, visions, or feelings.
Masculine Consciousness and Breath
For men, particularly those on the path of conscious masculinity, breathing offers an opportunity to connect deeply without the barriers of ego or societal expectations. It allows for a raw, unguarded intimacy, where vulnerability and strength intertwine.
Engaging in breathwork practices can transform not only sexual experiences but also our very essence as men. Our breath acts as a catalyst, melting away insecurities, fears, and preconceived notions. When fully attuned to our breath and that of our partner, physical sensations are amplified which deepens the whole experience. Through prolonged, synchronised breathing, many report entering a trance-like state, transcending the limitations of the body and touching the fringes of the spiritual realm.
Breath as a Practice
Over the last several years in my own practice I’ve validated the powerful transformative experiences that were unlocked by a regular breathwork practice. Not only has it made me more present and aware of my body and its energetic layers, it also helped me to unlock and heal many of the unconscious patterns and wounds I was carrying inside myself.
For men starting to engage on this path, working with the breath is perhaps the most important and highly rewarding practice to devote yourself to. For those intrigued by the potential of breath as a bridge to deeper connection, here are some steps to begin:
- Solo Breathing Exercises: Before diving into synchronised breathing with a partner, practise deep breathing alone. Become aware of the rhythm, depth, and nuances of your breath. Spend 10-30 minutes a day in a practice focussed solely on the breath. I usually add relaxing music (like this) to enhance the practice.
- Guided Meditations: Numerous meditations focus specifically on breathwork. These can be a valuable tool in cultivating awareness and control over your breathing patterns. If you want to really launch yourself in this direction, you may wish to explore a Vipassana meditation retreat which can offer you a powerful initiation into the power of breath focussed meditation.
- Combine With Lovemaking: Once comfortable, introduce synchronised breathing into your intimate moments. Begin by simply holding hands with your partner and breathing in tandem. As you become more attuned to each other’s rhythms, allow this practice to naturally weave into more profound intimate experiences.
Breathing, though simple, holds the potential to revolutionise our intimate experiences. By recognising it as more than just a passive act, and instead as a bridge to deeper connection, we can truly embark on a journey of transcendent intimacy, where every breath is a shared song of souls in harmony.
My lover and I experimented and explored this together and it has opened many new doors into profound and intimate experiences for us. Not to mention triggered some wildly ecstatic states in the context of lovemaking. I’ve also had coaching clients share that they experienced some of the most powerful peak moments in their lives by following my guidance in this direction. So it’s well worth a try!
Eye Gazing: Windows to the Soul
One of the most potent and transformative tools in the arsenal of conscious intimacy is the simple yet profound act of eye gazing. While our society often teaches us to guard our gaze, to maintain our ‘cool’, or to shield our true emotions, diving deep into the eyes of another can be a pathway to realms previously uncharted.
When I first began the Tantric Path and started participating in workshops in India and Thailand, eye gazing rituals were a regular occurrence that quickly dissolved the regular conventional ways of relating and opened new doorways into deep and vulnerable states of connection.
Unlocking the Power of the Gaze
Eyes have always been celebrated as the windows to one’s soul. Through them, we communicate the inexpressible, the deep desires, fears, joys, and sorrows that words often fail to capture. In moments of intimacy, maintaining a prolonged, conscious gaze with a partner can lead to revelations about not only them but about ourselves.
Masculine Vulnerability in the Gaze
For men walking the path of conscious masculinity, eye gazing can be a particularly transformative practice. The male ego, often conditioned to be the protector and provider, might hold back vulnerabilities. Through genuine eye contact, these barriers can dissolve, leading to authentic connection and understanding.
Beyond the physical, a shared gaze can cultivate emotional and spiritual intimacy. It fosters a sense of unity, a feeling that for those few moments, two souls are truly intertwined and passionately connected. Holding a partner’s gaze during moments of intimacy can offer insights into their needs, desires, and emotions, facilitating better understanding and communication.
How To Practice Eye Gazing – In Simple Steps
For those eager to embark on this journey, here are some simple steps that can help you to approach and incorporate eye gazing into intimate moments:
- Set the Ambiance: Create a quiet, peaceful environment, free from distractions. Soft lighting and music are a welcome addition to set the mood in a romantic way.
- Establish Consent: Ensure that both partners are comfortable and willing. This practice is about mutual vulnerability and respect.
- Find a Comfortable Position: Sit facing each other, close enough to easily look into each other’s eyes without straining.
- Begin with Deep Breaths:As with many spiritual practices, begin with a few synchronised deep breaths. This sets the rhythm and calms the mind.
- Hold the Gaze: Look into each other’s eyes. Let the world fade away. It’s okay if it feels intense initially. With practice, it becomes more natural as you melt into one another.
- Communicate: After the session, share your feelings, sensations, and any insights that arose or continue the experience into an even more intimate fusion.
The Transformational Experience
As you engage in this practice regularly, you may notice a variety of experiences that start to manifest for you and your lover. Sharing these can be a beautiful way to galvanise your connection and take the intimacy even deeper.
Shared Visions: Some couples report shared hallucinations, visions or past life perceptions during deep eye gazing.
Heightened Sensations: The world may seem more vivid post-session, colours more vibrant, and sounds more acute.
Emotional Release: It’s not uncommon for emotions to surface, leading to tears, laughter, or an overwhelming sense of love.
Eye gazing, in the realm of transcendental sex and intimacy, offers a portal to deeper connection and understanding. For men, especially those embracing conscious masculinity, it paves the way for vulnerability, strength, and a celebration of shared humanity. Embrace the gaze, and let your souls speak the language that words so often fail to convey.
The Power of Intention
In the realm of sacred sexuality, there’s an element that often remains unsung: The power of intention. While the physical act itself is significant, it’s the intention behind every touch, glance, and whisper that truly elevates the experience from the mundane to the divine.
Understanding Intention in Intimacy
Intention can be seen as the compass of our actions, guiding the direction and depth of our engagements. It’s a prelude to action, setting the stage for what’s to come. In the realm of conscious intimacy, the power of intention magnifies the spiritual resonance of the act and ensures that both lovers are transparent in their attitude towards each other.
Masculine Embrace of Intention
For men navigating the waters of conscious masculinity, understanding and harnessing the power of intention in their intimate endeavours can be transformative.
Personally I used to approach intimacy very unconsciously or with a selfish desire to simply satisfy myself and get my partner to climax. When I shifted my intention towards creating the deepest connection possible and removed the end goal, things transformed immensely. Our experiences became a timeless passionate celebration of our love for one another and we rejoiced in our shared ecstasy.
Our lovemaking became much more purposeful, which deepened the trust and strengthened our relationship in many different ways. As a result our intimacy became something deeply healing and enhanced our ability to understand and hold space for one another.
Setting Intentions: A Sacred Ritual
To truly harness the power of intention in intimate experiences, one must approach it as a sacred ritual. Here are some simple steps that can help you to approach lovemaking in a more sacred way.
- Shared Dialogue: Before entering the intimate space, open a dialogue with your partner. Discuss your desires, fears, and what you both hope to achieve or experience from the union.
- Meditative Focus: Take a moment to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and internally set your intention. Feel it resonate within your core.
- Affirmation: Put your intention into words. Speak it out loud or in your mind. Affirmations like “I intend to deeply connect with my partner” or “Our union is a celebration of mutual love and respect” can be powerful.
- Visualise: Envision the intention manifesting. Feel the energy it creates and the atmosphere it evokes.
The journey of transcendental sex isn’t merely about the destination or the act itself. It’s about the path, the approach, and the intentions that guide the way. By embracing the power of intention, men can navigate this journey with purpose, respect, and an open heart, paving the way for experiences that truly resonate in the realm of the divine.
Being Fully Present
In the intricate dance of transcendent intimacy, there’s a vital element that often eludes our grasp in today’s fast-paced world: presence. Beyond the entwining of bodies, it’s the deep entwinement of souls and minds that elevates intimacy to a spiritual experience. Central to this is the art of being fully present.
The Essence of Presence in Intimacy
Being present isn’t merely about occupying a shared space or engaging in a mutual activity; it’s about completely immersing oneself in the moment. It’s about letting go of external distractions, past regrets, and future anxieties, anchoring oneself firmly in the ‘now’.
Conscious Masculinity and Presence
For men striving towards conscious masculinity, embracing full presence during intimacy becomes especially poignant. Personally, the works of Eckhart Tolle were very influential for men and after reading his book, ‘The Power Of Now’ I launched myself into a deep study and practice of presence.
As a man aspiring towards a higher level of awareness, insight and purpose in life, practising presence has brought me many revelations. By being fully present, I learned to connect more deeply with my partner, sensing her needs, desires, and emotions on a profoundly intuitive level.
Presence magnifies every touch, sound, and sensation, making the intimate experience more intense and meaningful. It also helped me to gain more control over the sexual energy and even cure my premature ejaculation. A fully present man offers emotional safety, showing his partner that in that moment, nothing else matters but their shared experience and most especially her safety.
Cultivating Presence: A Guided Path
Embracing full presence might sound challenging, but with intentional practice, it becomes second nature. Here are some elements that have helped me to make huge strides on this path.
- Mindful Meditation: Engage in regular meditation practices. This not only calms the mind but also sharpens the skill of being present and teaches emotional regulation.
- Digital Detox: Before entering an intimate space, disconnect from digital devices. This ensures no external interruptions and helps focus on the partner. Whenever possible, I always have my phone on silent or in another room entirely.
- Breathing Techniques: Using deep, synchronised breathing with your partner can anchor both of you in the present moment.
- Active Listening: During intimacy, listen to your partner’s verbal and non-verbal cues. This reinforces presence and deepens connection.
- Grounding Exercises: Techniques such as feeling the weight of your body, focusing on your partner’s heartbeat, or the warmth of their skin can help in anchoring the mind to the current experience.
In the world of transcendent intimacy, where souls seek deeper union and understanding, being fully present is the key that unlocks unparalleled experiences. For the conscious man, this presence isn’t just a tool; it’s a commitment, a vow to honour, cherish, and deeply connect with his partner in every shared moment. Through this path, intimacy transforms from a mere act to a divine symphony of souls in harmony.
In the theatre of intimacy another pillar of depth that paves the way towards transcendental sexual experiences is vulnerability. Without vulnerability a couple will struggle to cross the portal into a truly boundless and vibrant intimate fusion.
The Misunderstood Virtue
For far too long, societal constructs have incorrectly painted vulnerability in hues of weakness, especially for men. But in the arena of transcendent intimacy, vulnerability translates to courage, the courage to bare one’s authentic self, devoid of masks, walls, or pretence.
Conscious Masculinity’s Embrace
As I stepped onto the path of conscious masculinity, I quickly discovered that vulnerability was a more profound act of strength. After overcoming my initial resistances I found that there was a profound balancing of my character that occurred.
By laying bare my emotions, fears, desires, and dreams, I opened a conduit for deeper, more meaningful connections. Hidden wounds and past traumas started to surface and heal, once exposed in a safe, intimate space. Vulnerability was a key ingredient that facilitated this exposure.
By being true to my feelings and experiences, I found a profound empowerment in authenticity, leading to a more genuine expression of myself that also paved the way for my relationship to deepen in mysterious and beautiful ways.
Cultivating Vulnerability in Intimacy
How does one lean into vulnerability, especially when years of conditioning might deter it? Here are some steps that I personally found extremely useful and transformative.
- Open Dialogue: Initiate conversations with your partner where you share your feelings, insecurities, and aspirations. Creating a non-judgmental space is crucial.
- Mindfulness & Reflection: Through meditation and introspection, become aware of your emotional landscape. Understand what triggers defence mechanisms and work towards lowering those guards.
- Seek Support: Vulnerability doesn’t mean going at it alone. Whether it’s through your lover, a Men’s Group, or an intimacy coach, seek support when needed and find a space that supports you to open up.
- Acknowledge Fear: Recognise that the fear of being vulnerable is valid but also understand that growth lies beyond this fear.
- Remember: There is nothing more powerful and courageous than a strong man who also has the capacity to reveal his weaknesses. That is the stuff of legends.
When vulnerability is woven into the fabric of intimacy
Couples often find that their intimate moments transcend the physical, delving deep into an emotional and spiritual realm. As both partners witness and honor each other’s vulnerabilities, they grow together, understanding, supporting, and elevating one another. A relationship built on the foundation of mutual vulnerability is resilient. The bond, having weathered raw truths, stands strong against adversities.
In the sacred journey of transcendent intimacy, vulnerability is the compass that guides toward uncharted depths of connection and understanding. For the conscious man, embracing vulnerability is not just a choice; it’s an affirmation of authenticity, a pledge to honour not only his truth but also the shared truth of intertwined souls. Through vulnerability, intimacy is not just felt; it’s lived, breathed, and celebrated.
Exploring Tantra and Kundalini
Embarking on the path of transcendent intimacy often leads seekers to the ancient practices of Kundalini and Tantra. Rooted deeply in Eastern spiritual traditions, these practices offer a holistic approach to intimacy, transcending mere physical union and delving into an energetic, soulful connection. For the conscious man, understanding and integrating Kundalini and Tantra can be transformative.
Kundalini: The Serpent Energy
Kundalini, often symbolised as a coiled serpent at the base of the spine, represents the dormant spiritual energy within us. When awakened, this energy rises through the body’s chakras, leading to heightened awareness, spiritual awakening, and a deeper sense of interconnectedness.
Tantra: The Sacred Union
Tantra, often misunderstood in the West, is not merely about extended pleasure. At its core, Tantra is about recognising and honouring the divine in oneself and one’s partner. It emphasises presence, intention, and connection, transforming intimacy into a meditative, spiritual act.
Benefits for Conscious Men
Through Tantric practices, men can learn to extend and deepen their intimate experiences, finding a harmonious balance between giving and receiving. The longer we make love, the more energy we accumulate which increases the likelihood of awakening Kundalini..
Tantra encourages the expression and release of suppressed emotions, leading to profound healing. This intense emotional release can also be the trigger for transcended spiritual experiences and ecstatic states of awakening.
As the lovemaking deepens and expands you will often feel as if the boundaries of your body are dissolving. You can experience a deep merging or ‘oneness’ with your beloved as your consciousness moves from the finite constructs of your ego mind, towards the infinite expanse of the universal mind.
Blending Kundalini and Tantra for Transcendent Intimacy
Here are some basic cues to help you adopt and explore a Tantric approach towards intimacy that can pave the way towards awakening Kundalini and the associated transcendent states of consciousness.
- Synchronised Breathing: Begin intimate sessions with deep, synchronised breathing. This harmonises energy fields and facilitates the rise of Kundalini. You may wish to intensify the rhythm as you approach states of orgasm and direct the energy upwards towards the higher chakras.
- Eye Gazing: Eye gazing will facilitate a profound polarisation of the masculine and feminine energies in each lover. This alone can trigger intensely passionate states that can trigger the flow of Kundalini energy.
- Semen Retention: It’s important for the man to practice semen retention during lovemaking so that the intimate fusion can be prolonged. The longer the lovemaking, the more energy is accumulated and the higher the likelihood of triggering multi-orgasmic states without ejaculation.
- Sacred Rituals: Incorporate rituals like lighting candles, using aromatic oils, or chanting mantras to set a sacred, intentional space for your Tantric practice.
Conclusion: Embark on a Transformative Journey
The realms of Kundalini and Tantra offer profound wisdom for those seeking transcendent intimacy. For the conscious man, these practices are not just techniques but sacred pathways to deeper connection, mutual growth, and spiritual awakening. In embracing Kundalini and the Tantric approach, intimacy becomes not just an act of love but a celebration of the divine interplay between souls.
If this journey resonates with you and you’re eager to dive deeper, I invite you to explore The Legendary Lover Online Course. Designed meticulously for the modern man, this course blends age-old wisdom with contemporary insights to guide you in unlocking unparalleled depths in intimacy. Learn the secrets of Kundalini and Tantra, master the art of vulnerability, and become a beacon of presence and intention in every intimate encounter.
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